What Is The Best Zodiac Sign? (Virgo)

At last, I've decided to tackle the age-long question. Which zodiac sign is the best zodiac sign? Obviously, one of the 12 signs must be the best. After some long pondering, I have discovered the answer. The Virgo.

Virgos are the group project partner you wanted in school. They'll do all the work, and be happy that you left them alone and gave them the chance to be in total control. Virgos are control freaks, yes, but you'll tolerate it if you need them to do all of your work for you. Great to have one around the house to clean, if you don't like Roombas. 

Virgos are very reliable and reassuring, because they live in a constant state of existential crisis. A virgo might look calm and composed, but there is a tempest brewing in their head. But that shouldn't worry you, as all you need is to pretend to be hurt and the virgo will come to the rescue. Help me, virgo! I'm broken!

Virgos are analytical, making them perfect partners in romantic relationships. Not only will they point out all your flaws to you, but they will also decide that you are no good for them because they are perfect and you are not. All Virgos are perfect and have no flaws. You, on the other hand, are riddled with insecurities a virgo cannot handle in a romantic relationship. That is why Virgos have transcended the dating realm, and are in a permanent state of heartbreak.  

Reginald Easton's miniature of
Mary Shelley (c. 1857)

Virgos are great communicators, because they are ruled by Mercury. This makes them witty and charming, and devastatingly hurtful. But they are also perfect, so you will forgive them their hurtful comments. If you do not forgive a virgo, they will blame themselves for your issues and decide that something is wrong with them. 

Virgos will only communicate openly with you if they are comfortable around you. Virgos don't understand that they need to communicate in order to get comfortable around somebody. The loop never ends. Suffering from unrequited love is a Virgo's favorite pastime, as well as helping all their family and friends pursue their own dreams, romantic and professional. Helping other people distracts the Virgo from their own existential dread.

Many celebrities were born during Virgo season, and almost all of them are perfect in every single way. Such celebrities include Mary Shelley, author of the pivotal gothic novel Frankenstein.  Mary Shelley had all sorts of fun Virgo quirks! She cut her deceased husband's heart out and kept it with her everywhere she went. Typical Virgo.

Hopefully this opened your eyes to reality, encouraged you to be yourself if you are a Virgo, and showed you who is boss if you are any of the inferior zodiac signs.