Women Riding Bicycles: Should We Cancel Them?

Today while casually driving through San Francisco, minding my own business, I encountered a man sitting on a bus stop. He seemed to also be minding his own business, but when a lady on her bike rode by him on the street, he suddenly jumped to his feet and called her a "whore". He shouted at her several times, until she disappeared around the corner. Then, he sat back down and continued waiting for the bus.

 

I don't know what exactly prompted him to come to this peculiar conclusion, as I did not observe any particular behavior from this woman to warrant the kind of reaction this man offered. Maybe they have some kind of intricate backstory, unbeknown to me and other strangers. I thought about this for my entire ride back home, and came to the conclusion that this man believes all women riding bicycles are "whores". 

After giving it some more thought, I think he needs some educational time reading the wikipedia page for aphids. 

I am no expert, but I truly believe aphids are the key. I'll preface everything that will come from this point forth with the statement that I utterly despise aphids. They have ruined so many of my plants. After watching ants farm them on my mom's olive tree, there's no redemption for these little nasties.

However, they are still magnificent beasts. Some aphids have this thing called telescopic development, which is when a living being is able to reproduce without ovum fertilization. Aphids are born pregnant. I am certain that today's bus stop man would benefit from this information. It would help him put his own life into perspective. Suddenly, the random lady riding her bike would matter no more. Aphids are born pregnant, and they aren't even married. Can you imagine!?