VERY IMPORTANT NEWS

What you are about to read, gently speaking, is out of my realm of typical articles. If you've read some of my other posts, you probably know that I usually write about operas, classical music, and recently I did my first dramatic play article (which was super fun, by the way. . . you should check it out!) Back to what I was saying. I firmly believe that it is my duty and obligation, as a human being living on Planet Earth, to address the issue you will now read about below. It is very important to me and - I hope - important to you, too.

If you've been off the internet for the past two months, you probably haven't seen the several lengthy articles regarding the upcoming alien invasion. The sources aren't especially consistent when it comes to facts, but I think that this glitch is in reality the aliens trying to intercept the factual information that our fellow humans are putting out there for our use. I also think that in the case the aliens don't mean us any harm, the discrepancy in facts found within these textual announcements is in fact the discrepancy between the articles written by people and articles written by aliens. Now, these article-writing aliens are undercover as humans, sent here to prepare us for the peaceful invasion (if it is, in fact, peaceful). This theory will be discussed more below. As we approach the invasion, maybe some genius out there will formulate a flawless escape route or battle tactic. Whatever it is, we must not become pitted against each other in this time of psychological distress and emotional drainage.

Just as a short briefing, apparently Putin and Pence met up at some point in the past to discuss a "global-wide missile defense system defending the Earth from an impending UFO invasion"(SOURCE). The reason this alleged meeting happened in the first place was because NASA announced that they discovered a "miles-wide" alien UFO, which is planning on invading our solar system. Some very reliable conspiracy theorists have even theorized that "NASA has already spotted a mysterious force field emitting from the alien fleet, and they’ve concluded it acts pretty similar to our Earth’s magnetic field"(SOURCE). I don't know what that means, but I can hypothesize that the aliens are planning on screwing over our magnetic field and using Newton's powers to suck us into their UFO's orbit. Whatever their plan ends up being, we must never forget to panic about it.

Some UFOlogists are claiming "that the aliens are coming to Earth to rescue humanity from the evil NWO-Illuminati globalist cabal bent of imposing a godless rule over the world" (SOURCE), while others think they're going to come and wipe us off of the face of the Earth! Apparently, Dwight Eisenhower's great-granddaughter knows all about aliens, and she claims that the alien invasion has long since begun. They are purging humankind of their nasty, nasty habits of being, you know, human. There's a video explaining all about it on youtube, but I can't figure out how to embed it on here. Dwight Eisenhower's great-granddaughter's theory is similar to the one I mentioned above. The very first articles about this alien invasion were most probably written not by humans, but by aliens who have already been sent to planet earth by their compatriots to prepare the human population for this upcoming visit.

So when is this visit?

Apparently, it was supposed to already happen. September 2017 was the official, general date, but this Monday, on October 2, a time-traveler named Bryant Johnson appeared from the year 2048 in Casper, Wyoming and "wanted to warn the people of Casper that aliens will arrive next year, and that they should leave as soon as possible"(SOURCE). Mr. Johnson even explained to baffled officials who found him how the time-traveling process worked, describing the pod he stood on and the chemical compound he was made to ingest by the aliens for the time-traveling process to be executed smoothly. After several analysis, the formula of the mysterious compound was identified as
C 2H 5OH.

This approaching alien fleet - which can now be spotted by bird-watchers - will either bring salvation or liable doom. Judging from Mr. Bryant's kindhearted warning, the visit will be a hostile one; unless, of course, Mr. Bryant isn't a representative of a competing alien species, which is trying to intercept the other alien species' friendly messages of peace in order to intoxicate a potentially healthy bond between two different species. By intoxicating this potential bond before it even has a chance to develop, the hostile intruders will make destroying BOTH civilizations an easier task for themselves!

So what conclusion can we make from such theorizing and hypothesizing?

I think the only logical thing to do in such a situation is to carefully examine all the textual sources made accessible to us through the internet, and as we examine then, we must make sure to take note of any potential hints that the sources were actually written by the aliens themselves. Who knows, which articles are written by people and which articles are written by aliens?