Are Scorpions Evil? (Scorpio)

 I have posed the question that has haunted my dreams since early childhood. Now that astrology rules humanity's existence, I believe it is the right time to find the answer.

There is no doubt that Scorpios are some spawn of the devil, but to what extent? From the side, these people are great at almost everything they do! They're social, polite, funny, and witty. The devil, however, is in the details.

You think your Scorpio is brave and isn't afraid of challenges life throws at them? Wrong. They're just reckless and act before they think! They're usually quick to react, so in times of crisis they will save your ass without even thinking.

Loyalty is a word I often see associated with Scorpios, and I'd have to agree. Both my grandparents are scorpios, and despite being divorced, these people call each other every day just to remind themselves that they still hate the other. If that's not loyalty, I don't know what is.

Unfortunately, loyalty comes in different shapes and sizes. Sometimes the shape is toxic obsession, and the size is abusive control. But if that's your thing, who am I to stand in your way?*

*Abusive relationships should not be your thing. This is just a horrible joke. Stop consuming things like Twilight.*

They are also big, old meanies, who have wild mood swings and enormous egos. They expect you to forgive them for analyzing all of your insecurities under a microscope to later use in arguments to their advantage. I've found this trait useful for myself. Sometimes, I wake up and wonder what new thing I should feel insecure about. A Scorpio is always ready to help, by reminding me what parts of my body and personality I should feel conscious about! Ten out of ten would recommend to a friend. Make sure to place your entire worth and self-value on the opinion of one Scorpio. That's the only way.

Some fun celebrities to think about, born under this sign, are Bill Gates and Pablo Picasso. Bill Gates rules the world, and Pablo Picasso was a pathological cheater, who also abused the women he painted both physically and verbally.

Does this make all Scorpios evil? No, of course not. Just a little bit.

Here is a disclaimer that astrology is a pseudoscience, and if you take what I wrote to heart you probably need to relax by checking out this Pablo Picasso painting.

Weeping Woman, 1937